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[quote=Anonymous]Not sure how many PP have actually litigated divorce/custody, but it can and will get ugly.

Definitely get a lawyer.  Meet with several, find one who is a good fit for you.

TRY TO SETTLE if at all possible.  Try to be rational and not emotional about the likely outcomes and your priorities and needs.  Get a therapist you can talk to about the emotional part of separation/divorce, don't use your lawyers.

If you litigate, you will likely spend between $300K-$500.  Just you.  Your husband will spend an equal amount. This is money that you will never get back.  Compare to around $30K-50K if you are able to settle.

If you litigate, particularly about custody, it will likely get awful.  Prepare to have your life taken over by the litigation, which can last up to a year or two.

Change lawyers if you need to.  Sometimes the right lawyer for settlement is not the right lawyer for litigation.

Don't write angry emails.  They will get turned over to your spouse.  Know that you are always creating a record which will be used against you.

Good luck.  I hope you are able to settle.  [/quote]

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