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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I have travelled overseas before for a weekend for a wedding, so I am no stranger to the idea of long expensive flights for short events. But it seems totally crazy to me that you are going to fly to Israel just to attend a 2 hour Bat Mitzvah ceremony. It's your choice, obviously, but[b] it's a huge amount of money, you will apparently suffer extreme anxiety throughout the flight, you will not enjoy the experience, and your niece will barely even know that you were there. And your brother will give you maybe, what, 1/4 credit on his Official Scorecard of My Sister's Commitment to Judaism and Family.[/b] Sounds hideous. But, it's your choice. Just please own it and don't apologize to your brother that you and your family are not making even more sacrifices for this.  [/quote]

This is really what it comes down to.  The brother has turned this from an invitation into a test.  A test that costs a lot of money, time, and anxiety medication to pass.  Not fair.  He's allowed to feel disappointed that your family isn't coming for the ten-day tour, but he's being a dick about it.

Here's the deal: If you have a destination event, your are an asshole if you expect people to sacrifice their time and money to attend it and get pissy if they don't.  I don't care if it's your dad or your sister or your aunt or your best friend from high school.  If you decide that attending this specific event, despite the fact that you've intentionally made it less convenient for absolutely everyone on your guest list, is a referendum on how much people love and support you, you are an asshole.  If it's so important that people attend, then pay for their airfare and hotel.  Oh, you don't want to?  Then why the fuck should they?

If you have a destination event, some people will not be able to attend.  They might not have enough vacation time or money (and no, you can't expect them to dip into their savings).  The only thing you can do as a decent human being is invite them, graciously accept their regrets, and move on.  [/quote]

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