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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Wow!! That's some major progress there!! Good for you, I'm seriously impressed.[/quote]

Thank you. It sucks that I even let it get to a place where that kind of progress is possible, but that's my reality -- and I know there's someone else reading who is there too and needs encouragement. It's painful to be there, and it's also in some ways painful to have success losing weight, because you have so many regrets and beat yourself up about it and worry about keeping it off.

The biggest difference maker for me this time has been actually being kind to myself. I thought I could bully myself into losing weight, I just needed to work harder, and the more shame I heaped upon myself the more I'd want to work harder. Not really. That's probably one of the reasons I made myself post... avoiding shame and hating myself has been key to staying on track. It has really changed my perspective about how motivation works. [/quote]

What motivates you?[/quote]

PP here. I've had to really think about that lately. The first part of my losses, I honestly was motivated by fear. Fear of diabetes (don't have it but obviously it was lurking), health problems, fear of not fitting into clothes even in plus size stores, fear of being humiliated not fitting into a booth at a restaurant, fear of not fitting in an airline seat, etc.

Fear is a great way to start, to be frank. But it won't keep you going long term, and it certainly won't help you keep it off (although if you can remember some of that fear, it can give you a little boost in being afraid of returning to where you used to be -- but fear is a drag, you don't want it to be the main thing).

I've tried to transition to more of an aspiration motivation, things I'll enjoy about being thinner. Never even having to think about weight limits (for example, on a recent vacation, there were some zip lining excursions where the weight limit for women was something like 180 lbs - I'm tall, so that's only about 10 lbs overweight by BMI for me!), shopping being a non-issue, not feeling shame when going to the doctor or any healthcare provider, day-to-day life being easier, lowered risk for health issues, etc. Hope and aspiration is a little bit of a harder motivation tool than fear, but I've got to get there.

In terms of my comment on changing my perspective on how motivation works, what I meant is that I thought if I felt bad enough about something, I'd be motivated to change it. That makes logical sense to me, especially as a Type A personality. I could not get my head around why this is so hard for me. I know it sounds like a brag, but I kill it in every other area of my life. Unfortunately, when you're that heavy -- you always have your body with you, and it brings you down in every other area of your life too. I thought I could just ruminate on how awful being fat was, and wouldn't that get me to change?

Instead, monitoring my self-talk and being kind to myself, not overly judging myself when I don't make perfect choices, learning from mistakes instead of criticizing myself for them -- that all is working so much better. And it doesn't come naturally for me at all. I think that is a strategy that will last much longer and help me keep it off, because when you're trying to motivate yourself through hating yourself, when you get to a good weight -- you don't hate yourself anymore (or at least don't think you should for that reason). When you motivate yourself through loving yourself (as corny as that sounds), that stays and only gets stronger as you get healthier.

Hope that helps.   [/quote]

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