Reply to Lack of Sex starting to cause issues/fights

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So what happens, she gives you a card and then you "calmly and compassionately" scold her for not also touching you?  Try some positive reinforcement instead.[/quote]

I guess you're right...trying to give her a shoulder rub and affectionately rubbing her thigh and trying to give her oral was too much scolding...really, completely, that was just harsh of me to do.  [/quote]

If you know [b]she doesn't want oral[/b], then why did you try to give it to her?!?!!?   Doing something [b]she doesn't want[/b] is not positive reinforcement, FFS.  If every time you touch her, it turns into you wanting sex, that's really unpleasant for her.  My DH is like that sometimes and it drives me crazy.  It makes me not want to touch him at all.

What exactly did you do when she gave you a card?[/quote]

+1.  She doesn't want it!

OP, have you read the 5 love languages book?  Try responding to her in the same way she is reaching out to you-- by saying nice things-- and build slowly from there.  You are going from 0 to 60 if a card takes you right to oral.  Just try to take it at face value as an expression of love and appreciation, and respond in kind.  [/quote]

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