Reply to What do you think of a single, childless 40 years old woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here- I agree that I was overly picky or looking for the wrong things until I was at least 37. I just didn't want to settle and I'm glad I didn't. But my choices also mean I probably won't ever have my own kids. Weird thing is that I don't feel too sad about that? Maybe the PPs are right that subconsciously maybe I've just wanted to be alone until now. I spent so many years travelling the world and living a kind of selfish life and I don't regret any of that. Maybe if I'd found the one earlier I'd be regretting not seeing the world. But now I'm ready to meet someone and hope it's still possible. Maybe therapy would help?  [/quote]

You sound overly focused on yourself.  [/quote]

how is that overly focused on herself? she is living life on her terms. it is her life. she is not hurting anyone in the process. [/quote]

Men don't like when women don't pay attention to them. [/quote][b]

OP here- Ahhhhh!! That's what my brother said. He said he'd never date a woman like me, because I don't 'need' him. My mom says I'm independent to a fault. But that's why I thought maybe therapy as I'm willing to examine myself and change, if that's what's holding me back from meeting the right person.[/quote]

Yes, I remember an acquaintance telling me that when I was your age.  "You come off as too strong and not needing a man!" she said.  (She was a lesbian, by the way - ha!)  But I couldn't see how I was supposed to go around pretending to be a little weak needy woman, and plenty of strong women seemed to find husbands.

I never did, but I did adopt, and re-invented myself in my mid-40s.  This is the life I've got, and I try to live it to the fullest.[/quote]

Most men don't want a little weak needy woman. But just the same they don't want someone so fiercely independent that they don't feel as if they're important, any more than a woman doesn't want to feel important to her partner. I've known women who were full on ball busters who'd make it clear that they didn't need any man to be happy. Most of them needn't have worried about that as it turned out.[/quote]

Yeah, I never could find that balance.  Falling apart on the inside, but afraid to show it, so strong on the outside.  Attracted Mr. Wrongs, not Mr. Rights.

Whatever.  Too late for me now.  Maybe with therapy, OP can get to the bottom of things in time.[/quote]

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