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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sometimes we can be more giving and loving to other people even if they were not able to give us the same thing in exchange.  You could ignore her; you can help her navigate bureaucracy, or you could accept that she failed as a mother but she is still your mother and you are a stronger and bigger person who is able to help her out.  Most people would do one of the first two, but you do have the option of doing the third.  Who else is going to take care of her?  Leave a bureaucrat to do it?

Why does your response to her have to be perfectly reciprocal?  I take care of my child the right way, even if I think 40 years from now she might abandon me as an old woman.  I do it because it's my duty as a mother.  It's called moral responsibility.  [/quote]

But what if the person you are bringing into your home is toxic?  What if they break things, stay up all night making noise, constantly criticize you, leave food laying all around, prevent your child from studying?  What if, when you ask them to stop these things, they yell, scream, cry, and generally act up?  What if they seem incapable of understanding common manners?[/quote]

I wasn't suggesting that OP let herself get abused; just that she could do more than simply point her mother in the direction of medicaid.  for example, do some paperwork, send her a small check every now and then, check in on her.  not suggesting she let someone toxic wreck her life.  [/quote]

Op's mom is a 60 year old nurse.  She probably knows more about medicare/medicaid than Op does.  Op has not said that her mom has dementia or any other health problem.  She already lives in an apartment and she is within 5 years of retirement.  Would social security and her monthly pension be enough for her to live off of?

I don't understand why there is so much talk about moving across the country to live with Op...sounds like the woman is fending for herself now.  Let her.[/quote]

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