Reply to Do you accept financial help from your family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in  my 40's.  No, I would never accept financial help from my family.  I can support myself.  I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles.  Gross.

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ITA.  DH and I have friends with wealthy ILs.  It seems that the wife has been heard saying (more than once) she can't wait for the ILs to pass away (in order to collect money; which she assumes is coming her way).  This attitude makes me sick.  What if someone felt that way about me or DH?  They would not see one penny of our money if that were the case, that is for damn sure.  Someone literally waiting for you to die?  Jesus.

I also find it difficult to respect grown adults who can not support their lifestyle that *they* created, PP - too much entitlement involved here, to say the least.

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You and the others poo-pooing accepting financial support keep talking about lifestyle maintenance. It's rarely that. Sure, if they give you a monthly allowance to upgrade your lifestyle, but most of us are describing one-off gifts. The one area for exception is education - paying for college, grad school, or the kids'private education. Education is highly valued in my family. My parents aren't paying for the kid's private school tuition, but they've offered to pay for other enrichment classes that we certainly could afford to cover ourselves but my parents like to give practical gifts and we all like to avoid the accumulation of stuff. So there isn't a plethora of toys at Christmas, but there's a certificate to piano lessons for the year. Is that a life style upgrade or just a lifestyle preference? Less stuff, more experiences.

Ah, anyway - my dad paid for his sister's family's groceries for years. Thankfully he hasn't needed to do that for his own children, but if he did, of course we'd accept while eagerly looking to resolve our current crises.

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+1 My parents put money into an education fund for all of their grandkids for their birthdays and Christmas. They see how many toys the kids have so they just get them something small and the difference goes into the account. They always offer to pay for plane tickets for us since we live across the country. I don't accept it, but if that was the only way we could see them and the rest of our family (since most still live in my hometown) I would take them up on it. My parents really enjoy being able to help me and my siblings out now while they are alive. This is something they say all the time. It's really not about maintaining a certain lifestyle; at least in my case. [/quote]

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