Reply to I just learned that a student hates me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are the posters commenting here (many of them well spoken) teachers or parents?  Or both?  I am in the "both" category and it irks me a bit when parents try to diagnose the problems that they do not see internally within schools.  Sorry if I'm incorrect in jumping the gun; I welcome parent insights but it would be so helpful to know where these opinions and this advice are coming from.[/quote]

I commented a few times and am a private school teacher in a high school. I have kids, but they are little.

I think one alarm went off when the OP said the girl had requested her three times. It's odd to me that a school would let a student have that level of control. There are specialized/high level classes that may only have a single teacher, and so a student may have the same teacher for 2-3 years, but I can't imagine an administration easily honoring such a request, unless there were some influential parents involved.

While I see the benefit of the OP speaking to the girl about overhearing and how such things can be hurtful and it could be a good lesson, I also know that defensive/embarrassed teenagers (and adults) can sometimes go on the attack and will lash out at a moment of vulnerability toward someone who has made them feel ashamed/uncomfortable. I don't think all teens will behave this way, but some certainly will. If it were me, I probably wouldn't take the risk.

I would definitely avoid any explicit discussion of the letter of recommendation.[/quote]

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