Anonymous wrote:Are the posters commenting here (many of them well spoken) teachers or parents? Or both? I am in the "both" category and it irks me a bit when parents try to diagnose the problems that they do not see internally within schools. Sorry if I'm incorrect in jumping the gun; I welcome parent insights but it would be so helpful to know where these opinions and this advice are coming from.

She probably feels insecure with her classmates and said something dumb to make herself feel/seem bigger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the involvement is coming from the student. Seems natural that OP would be confused by the cruel remarks given the girl has sought her out.

Yet, op is the adult and she is acting as if she is still in high school herself.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the involvement is coming from the student. Seems natural that OP would be confused by the cruel remarks given the girl has sought her out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that I am being silly and shouldn't let this bother me, and I certainly would not change my behavior with this student, but...my feelings were really hurt and I have been thinking about it all weekend.

I thought I enjoyed good rapport with my students, and have a reputation for being a "good teacher" in our school community. On Friday morning, I overheard one of my students talking about me to her friends (they didn't realize I was in a room--not my classroom--beside their lockers that morning). The girl is a junior I have taught since she was a freshman, and I have to admit she's always been a favorite of mine. But she was mocking the way I talk, and my appearance, and it was really vicious...and some of her classmates were laughing. The students don't know that I overhead them, and I won't tell them.

This student has repeatedly requested me as a teacher three years in a row. She frequently emails me links to articles she finds that relate to what we are reading in class, and seeks me out to talk confidentially about problems she is having with friends, etc.

Anyway, I know I need to put my big girl pants on, but it was really hurtful. I guess I'm venting here because I need to get it out before Monday, and be ready to go in my old cheerful self. My DH helpfully pointed out that "most students laugh at their teachers", but it doesn't make me feel better.

Is this normal among your teens? Do they mock their teachers, even the ones they like? My own DS (in college now) would never have done this in front of me because he was a teacher's kid and his teachers were my colleagues.

Please reread this and you will see how challenged OP is with boundaries. Imagine you are this girl's mother. Of course you would be upset that she was so mean, but wouldn't you also be very concerned about a teacher being so involved with her? And I can't help but wonder if the girl's attack was a subconscious push back against that closeness, a discomfort with the idea of being so close and feeling its kind of wrong. The girl probably realizes on some level that there's been a boundary transgression and is reacting as only a young girl can.

All of the advice to talk to the girl or just suck it in is misplaced. OP needs to address the central issue. Why is she so involved in this girl's life? Why is she emotionally reactive to this girl?

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the involvement is coming from the student. Seems natural that OP would be confused by the cruel remarks given the girl has sought her out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that I am being silly and shouldn't let this bother me, and I certainly would not change my behavior with this student, but...my feelings were really hurt and I have been thinking about it all weekend.

I thought I enjoyed good rapport with my students, and have a reputation for being a "good teacher" in our school community. On Friday morning, I overheard one of my students talking about me to her friends (they didn't realize I was in a room--not my classroom--beside their lockers that morning). The girl is a junior I have taught since she was a freshman, and I have to admit she's always been a favorite of mine. But she was mocking the way I talk, and my appearance, and it was really vicious...and some of her classmates were laughing. The students don't know that I overhead them, and I won't tell them.

This student has repeatedly requested me as a teacher three years in a row. She frequently emails me links to articles she finds that relate to what we are reading in class, and seeks me out to talk confidentially about problems she is having with friends, etc.

Anyway, I know I need to put my big girl pants on, but it was really hurtful. I guess I'm venting here because I need to get it out before Monday, and be ready to go in my old cheerful self. My DH helpfully pointed out that "most students laugh at their teachers", but it doesn't make me feel better.

Is this normal among your teens? Do they mock their teachers, even the ones they like? My own DS (in college now) would never have done this in front of me because he was a teacher's kid and his teachers were my colleagues.

Please reread this and you will see how challenged OP is with boundaries. Imagine you are this girl's mother. Of course you would be upset that she was so mean, but wouldn't you also be very concerned about a teacher being so involved with her? And I can't help but wonder if the girl's attack was a subconscious push back against that closeness, a discomfort with the idea of being so close and feeling its kind of wrong. The girl probably realizes on some level that there's been a boundary transgression and is reacting as only a young girl can.

All of the advice to talk to the girl or just suck it in is misplaced. OP needs to address the central issue. Why is she so involved in this girl's life? Why is she emotionally reactive to this girl?