Reply to So upset my kid can't count to 20

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Reply to "So upset my kid can't count to 20"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am not being unsympathetic in the least, I totally understand how easy it is to stress about all of our children's characteristics. But, as both a mom and a developmental psychologist, your kids sound totally normal. 4 year olds do not need tutors. 4 year olds with developmental delays do need intervention, but nothing you are saying suggests developmental delay to me. Counting to 20 is a very discrete task. Maybe focus on something else for awhile - instead of saying number words - which is really what you are referring to. Try more counting of objects. Ask your child to tell you how many of X you have? Count while doing fun actions like jumping and clapping. It's entirely possible your son is just not as motivated to learn the number words up to 20. That doesn't really mean anything long term. Kids learn by what they find fun and motivating. I would suggest you channel your energies into the things he's excited about. If it's dinosaurs - spend lots of time learning about dinosaurs. At this age, as long as his milestones are within typical ranges (and there are big ranges), then the focus should really just be on enjoying learning. If he learns now that learning is all about performance it will definitely affect him negatively once he's in formal school. Plus, you don't know how well you and your husband counted and read at these ages...nothing at 4 precludes an ivy league education should you (and your son!) want that someday.

In the meantime, I agree it sounds like you are under a lot of stress. This is totally normal - especially if DH is away and you are the primary caregiver. I encourage you to get help managing your own stress, whether that is finding a way for you to get time for yourself, or therapy, or anything else. A happy mom makes happy children! [/quote]

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