Reply to No Respect for DH, and falling out of love.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry op, but your situation sounds a lot like mine. Mine was probably worse, because their was major temper issue thrown in and he would not participate in my and the kids life. ADHD and other things may be the reason, but it's still not a solution for the problems, and you too deserve to be happy. We tried therapy but like yours, it didn't progress. We had the 4 horsemen between us, and that's a strong predictor of divorce, even though we didn't want to admit it, and we did months a counseling.

I ended up pulling the plug on the marriage, and while it's not been easy, life is so much better for me and the kids. He moved away and has a good phone relationship w the kids which is better than the relationship they had before.

I'm not suggesting divorce, but like I said before, you too deserve to be happy, and if living like this isn't good for the kids, that's a major consideration.

And for those who say "didn't you know this before" ? That's irrelevant because she can't go back and change things! [/quote]

+1.  OPs husband sounds like my ex.  And no, my ex was not like this when we married.  
Accepting people for who they are is important, but that doesn't mean you have to accept the behavior of a partner who has checked out and abdicated all responsibility to the family that he helped create.  I decided I had two choices, accept the situation as it was, or get out.  And we tried counseling, and I tried everything I could to save our marriage.  [/quote]

OP here. Yes, +2. He was very different when we met and dated and even when we first married. A lot of promises never kept. Goals never achieved (or even attempted). Basically a lot of hot air. I am a doer. He is not. When I say I will do something I usually do it or try my damnedest. DH makes all kinds of promises but never follows through. With his job. Home life. Like the example with the financial planner. I agreed to go. Happily. He made a huge deal about it in counseling. Huge. Then 9 months come and go and he never followed through. How can anyone take him seriously?[/quote]

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