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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. Surreal is a good word. Just at a complete loss of what to do almost, and it's not like those things I know she wants are really going to fix anything. I'd be thrilled if they did, but I think if we get there she will look up and be in the same place.

She might not even have admitted this to herself. [/quote]

Why not try doing those things she wants? I know you don't think they will help, and maybe they won't, but if you want your fix your marriage as much as you say you do, isn't it worth a try? It kind of feels like you're telling yourself this as an excuse so you don't have to actually do anything differently.[/quote]

OP here. I will and more. It just hit me with a ton of bricks that even if I do everything she needs/wants to be in a position to get past things, there may not be any love waiting at the end. [/quote]

I'm the original surreal poster. She gave me a big wake up call with an emotional affair with a work colleague. I forgave her and started helping out more. Coincidentally my income skyrocketed (reaping what I sowed during the early years). She is still saying she is not in love with me. It's frustrating because I am willing to make any amends. It's sad that I would need to divorce and start over showering the new woman with the benefit of what I learned in the first current marriage. I've told her this. She doesn't care. So so sad. Get over it!!  I am sorry. I didn't think I was that bad!  [/quote]

Both of you have made mistakes. Only you recognize that. Unless she can see that you are toast.  All the advice that you should prostrate yourself before your superior female partner is laughable.  What about forgiveness acknowledging that it takes two to tango.

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