Reply to HS Party with Alcohol... Death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not only parties, though; if kids want to drink, they will do it whenever there's an opportunity -- at someone's house while the parents are at work, for example. Are you going to tell your 18 year old that they can't go over to a friend's house?

I'm wondering how many of you have had a teen who has been that age -- between h.s. graduation and the start of college. It's a fine line you walk, between trying to protect them from harm and yet giving them freedom to make good decisions; after all, in a few months, they will be away on their own without you looking over their shoulder (and if you think that there's no drinking at college, it may not be on campus, but there is still a lot of drinking off-campus). It is very stressful as a parent, and although you preach and teach about the dangers of drinking and driving or riding with someone who's impaired...teens are going to do foolish things, because they can't imagine that anything bad will happen to THEM. I'm just saying, it's not as cut and dry as some of you think it is.

I do think that having a mangled car on the school lawn presents a powerful visual and gives teens something to think about. These terrible incidents need to be turned into messages for the younger students and not be quickly forgotten.

What is absolutely inexcusable is that adults would allow teens to drink at their home. I knew of a family who would let kids drink at their home, but would make them spend the night -- still very, very wrong in my eyes. I hope the adults who let this party occur are charged to the fullest extent of the law, and I hope their names are made public. 
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So pick a college that has a decent reputation for drinking on campus, focus on single sex colleges and choose one with only academic sororities/fraternities.  Issue solved.  I went to Agnes Scott, and I guarantee that there was a whole lot less drinking on or off campus than most colleges.  Those that wanted to drink went over to Emory or Georgia Tech to frat row.  Those kids will do it anyway, wouldn't necessarily be at a party.  Wait, picking you kids' colleges isn't ok, right?  Hmmm...

Honestly, if you are so involved with your (adult) child's life that you think you can tell them what to do once they are 18, you have a surprise coming.  I firmly believe that if a child is given the tools to evaluate a situation, is able to live with both the positive and negative consequences of choices, and starts doing these at a young age, there's less risk once they are teens, and it's minimal once they are adults.  Wrap your kids in cotton wool, be very stingy with choices or wait until they are tweens and teens to start letting the reins go and you have a rebellion that doesn't stop when they turn 18.  I would much rather my child get into trouble younger so that I can help and the negative impact is felt without being something that will follow through the years.[/quote]

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