Reply to Seeking opinions on an incident involving another family member disciplining my child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a very relaxed parent. You have to be with a bunch of boys or you will be yelling all the time.

OP, you were way out of line. You over reacted. You escalated the situation. Your child's behavior was out of control. If that infraction resulted in BIL yelling then I am sure there was a lot of wildness by your kids prior to that point that really tried his patience.

I am guessing if he posted here his side would be very different than what you posted, particularly with regards to her getting off the couch arm. I am sure she did not compliantly step down when asked, and the grabbing for her legs leads me to believe there was likely some defiant response from her coupled with her launching herself or running across his couch on the way down.

My kids would have gotten scolded by me after that exchange and then made to help clean or something similar as an apology for being rude to someone else's house.[/quote]

I kind of agree with this PP on some things. I feel like there must be more to the story. Even when my temper is at its shortest (and I think I have a fairly short temper relative to most people), I would not get angry that quickly at someone else's child unless there had been previous incidents that day that had worn me down.

I am having a hard time picturing what "grabbing at her legs" means. Was he trying to pick her up so he could put her on the floor? Was he using her legs to try to pull her off the couch? Was she kicking her legs or running away so that he couldn't get her? I'm just confused.

OTOH, IMO it was out of line for him to touch your child and certainly the yelling and what he said was way over the top. I guess I just have more of a sense of boundaries with my niece and nephews. For something as trivial as climbing up on a sofa arm, I would have said to you [b]"hey, Jane, do you think Jamie should be standing on the arm of the sofa?[/b] I'm afraid she might fall" and then let you do the removing. If it was a toddler who wouldn't have understood (or couldn't be expected to comply with) a request to get down I might have picked her up and set her on the floor.  [/quote]

In my house I get to decide whether guests can stand on my furniture.[/quote]

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