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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Holy crap, OP.

Cooling off period sounds like a good idea.  Like, maybe, a decade or so?

I don't undertand all of the blocking that your DH does, though.  Doesn't that just escalate the drama?  And precisely what was SIL texting?  What will you do about the beach house?

Out of curiosity, is your family more wealthy than theirs?  Have you had a lot of financial advantages that SIL doesn't have?  (Not an excuse for her Fortas to Crazytown; I grew up poor with alcoholic parents, and I would never behave like that.  But I remember as a young teenager having savior fantasies about people, like, maybe this new person in my life will finally make me feel x, and when my fantasy didn't work out, it was a huge disappointment...seems like SIL created a lot of fantasies in her head about what having you as a sister would be like and she's furious that you didn't get the script.)[/quote]

OP here. Re the blocking: It's the screaming. The kids grew up in a pretty crazy, alcoholic, and dysfunctional household, so DH has a thing about screaming. I yelled at DH once about something I don't even recall when we'd first started dating and he got up and walked out. He explained to me later that he doesn't do yelling. Ever. So I never did it again and he has never once raised his voice to me. When we fight, it's with a reasonable tone of voice, and we work things out without yelling. Does his blocking them escalate things? Possibly, but he sees it as his only option to stop the hostility.

And yes, my family is wealthier, but by no means rich. And I suppose it's a possibility that she felt that way. I certainly think that's where the accusations of arrogance and condescension are coming from- I'm not doing what they want about contacting them, so they assume it's because I'm stuck up and look down on them, and not because they're asking for a level of contact I'm not willing to give.[/quote]

Yep, I also walk out of yelling. I didn't grow up with yelling like your husband, actually the opposite - in my family, yelling is only acceptable if you're in immediate physical danger or severe pain. Yelling because your mad means you need time to cool off. So, you're given that. Does it piss the other person off? Sure, but it also lets the other person know that you aren't available as a punching bag. If you've asked the person to stop yelling and they don't, then getting up and walking away - or turning off your phone, is the peaceful path to maintaining to exiting an abusive situation.[/quote]

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