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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in a very situation after I had my children and I truly regret the many years I spent trying to understand my in-laws and to accommodate their wishes.  I learned that in discussing me and DH and our many perceived faults behind our backs, my MIL, FIL and BIL would simply reinforce each others' views.  They had already decided we would always be wrong, and we could not change their minds - it did not matter how we behaved or how we communicated.  They were not the center of the universe and my MIL in particular could not handle that. I finally made peace with it all when I realized how much time DH and I were investing in what would always be dysfunction and I just stopped trying and caring what they thought of me.  I was accustomed to being a "good girl" and a people pleaser, so it took some time to figure this out.  I now invest my time in family and friends who enjoy my company and appreciate me.  OP, I hope you can find a way to live your life without having to deal with such negativity.  Life is too short.  [/quote]

OP here. Thanks. I do think the three of them probably got together and one complained about something we'd done, and it all snowballed. DH moved away from his hometown for good reasons, which are becoming abundantly clear to me this week. I appreciate the words of experience![/quote]

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