Reply to Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I want to clear one thing up. I'm not a starving artist. I'm successful. My income places me in the top 10-15 percent nationally. My job status is very high (graduate degrees from top-10 private universities). Not bragging either. Just don't want people getting the wrong impression. She only has a BA, but did well opening a small biz. So she makes 3-4x my salary. But it's not like I'm doing stand up at a club and waiting tables ppl.

As for other poster who asked about my appearance. I was 30lbs overweight (she's also gained). I've lost 20 of those lbs. I'm over 6' so I carry it okay. Again, I don't want ppl not seeing this for what it is. We're both equal in looks. She has an income edge. I have a status/degree edge in terms of intellectual achievements.[/quote]
Eh, 30 lbs overweight by what standard? People carry weight differently and even a guy who is &quot;normal weight&quot; is certainly not what I would consider to be hot.  Especially if you dont have any muscles.

Also, it's even funnier that she outearns you by such a margin and yet only has a BA and you have a ton of graduate degrees.  Kind of hilarious actually.

This lady sounds like a smart cookie.  Can you tell us about her business?  I am kind of intrigued by her. [/quote]

Wait, which side are you on? I'm getting confused. One person on here says she's keeping me around because I'm some sort of young hot stallion. To you, I'm a loser because I am 10lbs overweight and only barely make 6 figures. LOL. This is too funny. What does her biz have to do with the main question at hand? Do I look like I'm here to give my gf's biz advice. You're weird. The main question is why isn't she focused on bettering her situation. Even your theory would suggest she should, right? If she's clearly out of my league, why am I living rent free lol?[/quote]

Was this just like a stream of consciousness word vomit type of thing?[/quote]

Nope. There are points in there that are directly related to the thread. Would you prefer a math equation to make those points =)[/quote]

Maybe you're just socially challenged then...  :P [/quote]

Okay, let's try again then.

You made the following claim/support: gf has higher sex-market value than I do
Which would seem to suggest... that gf should leave me
But gf has not left me...
Other posters have claimed gf wants to keep me around because I'm young and help her keep up relationship appearances
Which conflicts with your point that gf has &gt; sex market value than I do
So we have diff posters with diff theories
Few theories hold up to the evidence here[/quote]

Well, women almost always have a higher value on the sexual market.

What other posters are saying is irrelevant- I'm telling you that you losing 20 pounds from your fat body does not make you a hot young thing.

And she may still want to keep you around, because you provide some kind of value to her, even if it's not hotness.

Again, I would love to hear about her business.  It may not be why you are on this thread but at this point you have to accept that your GF sounds much more interesting and accomplished than you. [/quote]

You insult me and then ask me for her business advice? And then claim I'm the one without social IQ. Irony! What'd I'd rather know is what my value is to her then. You have no well-developed theory on that.[/quote]

LOL.  I'm not asking you for business advise, hunty.  Realize that, from how you've described yourself thus far, you are pretty much the last person I would want business (or career) advice from.

I was actually asking you to mention what field she's in, but clearly you find that offensive (probably emasculating) and thus are refusing to do it.  Whatever.  Your GF is the most interesting thing about you. [/quote]

You don't know anything about me. For all you know I have a PhD in romance languages from Yale and have published 4 books with Cambridge Press. She might sell medical devices. Most people, including the New York Times, would find my career more interesting. Typical low-brow folk on DCUM who think a 4 bedroom house in Chevy Chase is a wet dream might find the 400k made on medical devices more interesting... Get some breadth.[/quote]

Bahaha.  She outearns you, bruh.

You may think your career is more prestigious than hers because you have more degrees, but I think most people would say the opposite.  She's the one who's smart enough to make a shit ton of money with just a bachelors.  Meanwhile you have all the degrees money can buy, and barely make a fourth of her income. That's pretty sad, dude.

Sorry, but she is more of a success, by objective measures.  WAY more of one, actually.  She not only flays you in the earning arena, but she did it without the advantage of having upper level degrees.

Time to take an honest look in the mirror.  Just keep some tissues nearby for when you do.
  [/quote]

Only someone who is nouveau riche could have your worldview. The difference between us is pretty obvious to me now. I grew up wealthy. My father's father made plenty. It's called old money. We are therefore able to pursue a luxury career (something prestigious and enjoyable). Sure I make less than many guys who own plumbing businesses. But you don't see a lot of men who are owners of plumbing businesses in the New York Times wedding section. Sure do see a lot of PhDs tho![/quote]

You dont see a lot of people who are earning barely 6 figures in the NYT wedding section, either.  You better hope your sugar mama makes a big enough bonus to make up for your lack of earning.

Guess what?  I'm old money too.  And it's no excuse to slack off, or to try to convince yourself youre a success when the reality is that youve had every advantage in the world and still cant really compete when it comes down to pure earnings.

My whole family has a lot of money, lots of Ivy degrees.  And the ones that slacked off and relied on the family money?  Well, theyre pretty big losers now that theyre older.  Usually, sooner or later, the money runs out.  Even if it doesnt, America is a country that bases respect off of earned income.  If your career is mediocre and middling, no one will be impressed.  ESPECIALLY when they find out how many degrees you had to get just to achieve that mediocrity. [/quote]

You have a very strange way of defining "slacking off"...

Do you think these two folks "slacked off"

http://english.la.psu.edu/faculty-staff/mfb12
http://www.gov.harvard.edu/people/faculty/robert-putnam

Clearly there are many small business owners who sell boring things like insurance, medical supplies, toilet bowls that make more than these 2 big-shot academics... But I don't think most people who say that A) Putnam or Berube have "slacked off" or B) that they are less successful than small business owners who have higher incomes

Do you think actors on broadway who win acting prizes are "slacking off"... again they make less. You need a different barometer. I'm surprised for someone who grew up in such an accomplished old money home that prestige doesn't trump pay stub. Very odd, from my experience with a similar world. Parents at my parents country clubs far more impressed with Ivy pedigree than pay stubs.[/quote]

You let me know when you win a prize for acting on broadway, and then I will be impressed.  By the way, at that point, you would be earning way more than you are.

Your parents' club?  So you are 33 and cant even afford the (heavily reduced) entrance fee given to legacies?  That's pretty fucking sad, dont you think?  Surely theyre a bit embarrassed that at your age you still have to sponge off their membership.
[/quote]

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