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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP why don't you call your in-laws on their racism first?  Have you ever pointed out the hypocrisy/double-standard in how they view their kids' boyfriends/girlfriends and the impact of race?  That is something worth asking them about: "Why are you so extra critical of the signif others of color?  As long as the partner is white you don't care if they're unemployed?  WHy is that?"[/quote]

OP here.  I already have the answer.  They are racists.  Like many Americans are.  Before me, they didn't have any friends of color, avoided diverse neighborhoods, and had no interest at all in interacting with races and cultures not their own.  Their son forced diversity into their lives by choosing me, but their feelings on race are unchanged.  Diversity is one of those things that is nice [i]over there[/i], but not in their neighborhood and not in their family.  I have had enough experience with them not to waste my time asking them questions I already know the answer to.

[quote]As for the DD's new BF, I don't know if I'd go all out and say all the parents are saying, but you can certainly share your experience and say maybe it's a similar dynamic.

By the way, just so you know OP, your description of your DH's sister is actually a bit judgemental too.  Your description of her physical features and personality basically sound like you're saying "Hey, she's no prize, so why are the parents so picky?".  Just sayin', be careful because there might be judgement flying around in this scenario from more angles than you realize.[/quote]

That is exactly what I am saying about my SIL.  It might be uncharitable of me to assess her frankly, but what I am saying is the truth.  There is no way that they would ever think their daughter who is of uninspiring looks and unimpressive intelligence should land a handsome, brilliant white doctor.  They only feel free to reach for the cream of the crop when that person is of color because they think people of color are lessened by their race.  That is just the unvarnished truth of the situation.[/quote]

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