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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My teenager has a bad attitude and a temper and calls me a bitch sometimes. Just this morning she got angry that the online order for her prom dress didn't happen and she called me names. But she is also responsible, gets great grades, is ambitious. She is not having sex with her boyfriend yet and isn't planning to. She has never tried alcohol or drugs. She is a perfectionist and has an internship. She tells me everything. I know I am very lucky but I worry about her abusive nature. I do wonder if it comes from stress because she puts so much pressure on herself and is stressed about grades and SATs and college applications.[/quote]

This sounds like my teenager's recent behavior, except that DC is not responsible, does not get grades, is not ambitious, does have sex, has done more than "tried" drugs, is not a perfectionist, does not have an internship, does not tell me everything, and does not care so much about SATs and college-related anything. It's as if DC has a checklist of things you hope your teenager won't do and checked all the boxes.  Oh, and mine isn't permitted to attend prom.  Still, being the target of your own kid's temper and bitchiness is no fun.

The only good news is that DC needed counseling and we found a good therapist on the first try and have reason to be optimistic.  Obviously, not all kids who use drugs and do poorly in school have mental health issues and not all kids with mental health issues engage in these behaviors.  I feel guilty because I just figured DC was just taking after my spouse who did a lot of this stuff as a teenager, but definitely had no underlying issues.  Still, DC made some bad decisions that can't be blamed on those issues and has plenty of friends in therapy/on meds who continue to use drugs, blow off school, etc. I'm just trying my best to be patient. [/quote]

I am the PP you quoted and I want to say thanks for helping me get this into perspective. I have a feeling you are a great mom and your DD is going to get through all of this with your support. I didn't want to complain on this thread because I have been lucky with DD in her teen years. I was just feeling horrible about the name calling and wondering what I should do about it. My girl has had a lot of struggles in her life. Her father died when she was little and she has Tourette Syndrome and OCD but the symptoms are almost all cleared up. She could hardly read until third grade and she had no friends in middle school. I have worried a LOT and right now I am breathing pretty easy. Somehow she pulled it all together and has great grades now. It seems that no parent gets out of this journey without a struggle. Hugs to you. [/quote]

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