Reply to Need Help with My Mental Attitude Towards my DD

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, she sounds a lot like my DD (now 13) at that age.

If a 10 y.o. likes CNN, she is certainly showing an interest in the world around her. Most likely, she also has empathy. maybe she doesn't show it, but I don't think she would want to hear those stries if it didn't touch her. I think it's wonderful that she is interested in current affairs. Go with that! maybe point her toward a source you are more comfortable with. My kids watch CNN Student News at school. Would she be interested it that?

DO NOT go around signing her up for various camps/clinics/activities. She does not sound like a kid who would enjoy that. If other pps are suggesting that as a way to make friends, I don't think it would work. These short term activities rarely lead to real friendships. If she likes something enough to really sink her teeth into, look for a way for her to find her like-minded people that way. For example, you mentioned basketball. IF she likes bball enough to spend a lot of time on it, maybe you could sign her up for a traveling team or something. These teams spend a lot of time together and tend to become very close.

My DD also likes to spend lots of time on her phone/screens. She has actually learned some pretty cool skills from it. your dd probably has too. For example, my dd loves to use different apps to make graphics. They call them "edits".  She is really good at it!  She has been able to use those skills several times for class projects. Her teachers and classmates were quite impressed. Her friends frequently ask her to make edits for them. It has been a confidence booster, and now she thinks she wants to become a graphic designer.

Look for ways to find her something to do, but keep it low key and subtle! My dd was never a kid who liked to make an event of baking or cooking with me, her grandmas, or anyone else. My other 2 kids like it, but she never did. But she has discovered that she likes to make cookies. I didn't go sign us up for a mother/daughter baking class. I just make sure to buy her ingredients. When she wants to bake, I stay out of her way. She prefers to do it by herself. Which is fine. I've never liked cooking or baking alongside other people (besides my kids) either. now she's showing interest in cooking/baking other things. Dd has also never liked to have an organized arts and crafts time. She likes to draw or create on her own though. maybe your dd would like to create on her own too? I just buy her supplies, such as colored pencils, sketch book, a big set of colorful fine-tip sharpies. She also really likes scrap booking, so I buy her scrap booking supplies and give her photos to use. Again, she would not enjoy scrap booking with anyone else.

she used to wine and complain a lot when she would have to go along for family activities, such as hiking, riding bikes, etc. So I stopped making her go. I would just tell her that we were going and asked her if she wanted to go. She said no a few times and regretted it each time! She realized she did not like being home my herself while the rest of us are out doing something. I still give her a choice, but she always wants to go.

So, anyway, I just think some kids need space. She will come around, but she needs to do so in her own time. Follow her lead.

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