Reply to Do you, the mother, tell your child when he/she has hurt your feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]No.  He is not responsible for my feelings.  I will focus on his behavior, and tell him when things are not okay or not acceptable, but I'm not going to make a child responsible for an adult's feelings.[/b] [/quote]

This.  [/quote]

Telling your child they hurt your feelings is not about you, it is about you teaching them about acceptable and unacceptable speech and behavior.

My son is 6 and rather than directly saying he hurt my feelings I will say "how would you feel if I said/did X to you?"  He gets the point.

We are not talking about 'you hurt mommy's feeling please apologize so I feel better' it is more "what you did/said was hurtful, I am going to explain to you why so you learn a valuable lesson" (the unspoken part is "it is my job to teach you this lesson b/c I want you to become a good person and I am more forgiving than anyone will ever be")

When my brother visits my DS, also known as my own personal barnacle, will often push me away.  I have talked to him about this before.  I have explained that why he is free to spend more time with his uncle he can't purposely treat me poorly.
He knows it is bad behavior and I don't want him to think that when a more preferred friend comes along he can be mean to a faithful companion.  In this example he is free to spend his time with who he chooses as long as his behaviors is not hurtful to others.

It is our job as parents to teach them these lessons.

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