Reply to Do you, the mother, tell your child when he/she has hurt your feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's definitely situational -- but I have no problem letting my kids know when something they have done has affected me.    They need to learn that their words and actions have impact and subsequently, consequences.

And while I am my children's 'rock' -- I am human too and showing my frailty and foibles --- and how I handle those weakness -- is just as informative as them seeing me in my best moments.[/quote]

I don't see in any way how letting your children know you have feelings--and that their actions can affect those feelings--indicates that you're not their "rock" or that you won't be there for them.  My mother certainly let me know when something I had said had hurt her feelings, but I never questioned whether she was there for me.  How are kids supposed to know why something is "unkind" if you don't explain WHY it's unkind?  The whole reason saying something mean is unkind is because it has the capacity to hurt someone.  That's like telling them not to stand on the coffee table or not to touch the hot stove, but failing to tell them the reason--that they could get hurt.  [/quote]

+1 I can't help but think what kind of parents think that telling their kids that their feelings are hurt translates into withdrawing love and support.  To me that smacks of emotional abuse more than good parenting.  Why can't you be mad at someone/hurt by someone and still love them and support them?  It's sad to me that some are implying that these are exclusive.[/quote]

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