Reply to My husband discusses me in an unflattering way with his happy hour female coworker

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are sort of fixated on the wrong things right now. It's not the trashing you or not that matters. It's the lying to you and evading your inquiries.

What you should do is decide if you want to stay married to him and try and fix the problems or not.  This is your decision, not his. Hint: the problems are NOT the ones he's reported to this woman. The problem is his lying to you, his attempts to manipulate you, and his cultivating affairs. He is going to try and make you think you caused this by clipping too many coupons or whatever.  Keep your eye on the ball. HE caused this by having an affair.  He broke vows. You did not. It's a big problem to fix but some people do it. Are you going to be one of them?

After you've made that decision--for yourself--you proceed. Either you work to fix the problems by scheduling therapy, etc or you start working on the divorce. [/quote]

Yeah that. The dishonesty is a huge red flag. His complaints are a way of projecting hie own unhappiness onto you and justify potentially having an affair  (or at the very least testing the waters to have one)

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