Reply to IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]
OMG,  I have knots in my stomach after reading this thread.  I hope some of the obviously enlightened previous posters can answer a few questions for me.

A little background.
I'm the Father of a Beautiful, very smart and kindest, sweetest young Adult daughter in the World.  Except when she has "spells"`.

She started these uncontrollable rage episodes around 12.  We discovered she was cutting herself around 14 after it had been going on for some time.  We took her to a Therapists, of which after a few visits, then refused to go back.  We've taken her to the ER after one night of severe cutting and talk of suicide.  It would take a few thousand words on my part to fully describe her behavior and the anguish of it all.  I have made mistakes dealing with those behaviors, thinking it was just an unruly child.  Not one time did anyone suggest a cause or possible diagnosis.  Two yrs ago after a length of rage after turning 18,  I convinced her to see a Psychiatrist.  Being of legal age, we are no longer privy to her medical care.  She was put on anit-anxiety medication after the first session.    No Therapy at all.  The Psychiatrist simply keeps filling the prescription.  Which has helped with the rage issue, but nothing else.  It wasn't until a couple mths ago that I came across the BPD description.  It floored me.  I have no doubt she's afflicted with it.  I have read much on the Internet.  I've pretty much concluded that it is beyond my ability to help her and that she needs a professional therapist.  She simply is failing at everything in life right now.  She has a good heart and does want to succeed.  She just can't get her life turned around.

I've tried talking her into going to a Therapists, but she refuses and says she only needs the drugs for anxiety.  I've read so many conflicting things about BPD that I don't know what to believe.  It saddens me that this thread is so conflicting and there doesn't appear to be more agreement on specific treatments.  My impression is that most Professionals think it is a mistake to tell the person they have BPD.  Is that the thought of the experienced posters that have lived this journey ?   I keep thinking if I tell her about the possible cause of her behavior, that it might be the motivation to get her into Therapy.  If not that, then how do I convince her to seek professional help ?

I'm so lost.  My daughter is in danger every day she doesn't get better.[/quote]

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