Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have one question for OP.

Since you and sis and nephew are so close and all, how many times have you travelled to see your nephew play soccer?  To me, that is important because you think that he should be sacrificing something important to him so that he can attend something that is important to you.  So I want to know if it flows both ways. Would be nice for you to take time and make the effort to support him before you express disappointment in him not supporting you, if you have not already.

That being said, my kids are athletes, we would let them choose, and given how close they are with their aunts and uncles, they would choose and have chosen the family event. But our family is full of club, HS and college athletes so the family would 100% understand if someone missed something because of an important tournament.  At the same time, we all gather up and attend the sporting events of the young people in our family.  Nothing for us to have 10 family members at an important game.  So our kids would remember that Aunt Lucy came to their championship game and they would want to support Aunt Lucy in her big day.  In my opinion, it is not about sports being more important than family. It is about family members mutually supporting each other in endeavors that are important to the one participating.  It is VERY condescending to belittle the boy's activity and the work he put in to make varsity so I think that is the wrong way to look at it.

Missing a game was only an issue one time. When DD was in HS,  she attended her cousin's wedding and missed a college showcase tournament.  She made the decision and we supported it.  The problem was that a few college coaches came expecting to see her and not all of them got the word that she would not be playing.  So that took some smoothing over and we know in one case, a college coach crossed her off the list because of it. Otherwise, we have never had a problem.  
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