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[quote=Anonymous]OP here again.  Sorry  it's taken a couple of days to respond but it's the holiday season and it's hectic around here.

So, things aren't perfect and we just went through our annual bought of mania but at least it didn't last more than a few days and didn't require hospitalization. Really, it's those small things that make all the difference.

We've moved away from the DC area and to a much smaller community with great programs for children like him. Better than what's available in the DC area, believe it or not, and we're happier with the slower and uncrowded lifestyle.   Not that moving hasn't provided it's own set of challenges but we all seem to be happier now on a whole.  We moved to an area where we still don't have any family but it's where I grew up and have friends that are well connected or in the medical field we need so we're not alone.  It's also great not having to learn to navigate an entire new city and look for qualified doctors, therapists, and schools.

2013 was probably the most difficult year as we dealt with having to remove DS from the mainstream school, DH lost his job, and I lost a much beloved family member.  I seriously couldn't wait for the year to end.  That said it was all of the strife that really lit a fire under DH and I and we gave serious thought to what it was we really wanted to do with our lives and how we could better prepare this child for the world.  While we continue to save and plan for his future education and speak to him about college it's doubtful that's the direction his life is going to take so we plan on establishing a trust for him and purchased a house large enough that we can section off a portion into an apartment for him later in life.  Should he ever be able to live alone.  Of course our concern is that he'll be able to properly care and provide for himself once we're gone.

2014 has been all about transitions.  DH is still jobless after our move but has several prospects on the horizon including a complete career change but something that will provide regular hours and a fantastic benefit package.  Crossing my fingers on that one.

Every time I am to the point where I believe things are calm enough for my being able to job hunt myself there's a crisis and further conformation that he needs someone that is readily available at a moments notice.  Someone who knows exactly how to handle him and his behaviors and to remain calm during the worst of it.  DH and I have discovered that it's not him.  He's OK in a pinch but he just doesn't have the same ability to compartmentalize.  We also don't have the means to hire a special needs nanny to be at the ready.   Especially after 1.5 years of unemployment, doctors appointments, and moving into an ancient home that had been vacant for several years and the well pump and electrical had been stolen, every pipe in the house had burst, and the furnace died and even with repairs it wouldn't be guaranteed to work.  We have attempted a crowdfunding project but that hasn't done too terribly well.  I think in part because I hate asking for help and I'm truly clueless on how to do it properly. Amazingly everyone is still very optimistic and happy despite living in close quarters for the time being.

I feel as though things are going well though they will never be perfect and we know there will be other hospital stays to work out medications and such.  It's amazing how far we've come now that the grieving process has passed and we have a better idea of what's ahead.  The reality of it is that all of our plotting and planning for the future is only a rough sketch and we've come to terms with that.   [/quote]

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