bumping this up for the book rec.

Buy her this book and tell her it comes highly recommended by someone in her shoes.
http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Im-Still-Here-Children/dp/1933016493

I read this book prior to DS's first commitment and I'm so glad I did because it helped me understand that it needed to be done and that it was going to be the first and not just an isolated incident. Oh, how I cried and cried as I read this book. It really helped me process through a lot of the grief.

Buy her this book and tell her it comes highly recommended by someone in her shoes.
http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Im-Still-Here-Children/dp/1933016493

I read this book prior to DS's first commitment and I'm so glad I did because it helped me understand that it needed to be done and that it was going to be the first and not just an isolated incident. It also helped me understand that I needed to grieve and a good team.

My dear friend just told me her DD was diagnosed Bi-polar. This came as no surprise to me. Other than, "you're a great mom and Larla will be ok," do I say or do anything else?

OP here again. Sorry it's taken a couple of days to respond but it's the holiday season and it's hectic around here.

So, things aren't perfect and we just went through our annual bought of mania but at least it didn't last more than a few days and didn't require hospitalization. Really, it's those small things that make all the difference.

We've moved away from the DC area and to a much smaller community with great programs for children like him. Better than what's available in the DC area, believe it or not, and we're happier with the slower and uncrowded lifestyle. Not that moving hasn't provided it's own set of challenges but we all seem to be happier now on a whole. We moved to an area where we still don't have any family but it's where I grew up and have friends that are well connected or in the medical field we need so we're not alone. It's also great not having to learn to navigate an entire new city and look for qualified doctors, therapists, and schools.

2013 was probably the most difficult year as we dealt with having to remove DS from the mainstream school, DH lost his job, and I lost a much beloved family member. I seriously couldn't wait for the year to end. That said it was all of the strife that really lit a fire under DH and I and we gave serious thought to what it was we really wanted to do with our lives and how we could better prepare this child for the world. While we continue to save and plan for his future education and speak to him about college it's doubtful that's the direction his life is going to take so we plan on establishing a trust for him and purchased a house large enough that we can section off a portion into an apartment for him later in life. Should he ever be able to live alone. Of course our concern is that he'll be able to properly care and provide for himself once we're gone.

2014 has been all about transitions. DH is still jobless after our move but has several prospects on the horizon including a complete career change but something that will provide regular hours and a fantastic benefit package. Crossing my fingers on that one.

Every time I am to the point where I believe things are calm enough for my being able to job hunt myself there's a crisis and further conformation that he needs someone that is readily available at a moments notice. Someone who knows exactly how to handle him and his behaviors and to remain calm during the worst of it. DH and I have discovered that it's not him. He's OK in a pinch but he just doesn't have the same ability to compartmentalize. We also don't have the means to hire a special needs nanny to be at the ready. Especially after 1.5 years of unemployment, doctors appointments, and moving into an ancient home that had been vacant for several years and the well pump and electrical had been stolen, every pipe in the house had burst, and the furnace died and even with repairs it wouldn't be guaranteed to work. We have attempted a crowdfunding project but that hasn't done too terribly well. I think in part because I hate asking for help and I'm truly clueless on how to do it properly. Amazingly everyone is still very optimistic and happy despite living in close quarters for the time being.

I feel as though things are going well though they will never be perfect and we know there will be other hospital stays to work out medications and such. It's amazing how far we've come now that the grieving process has passed and we have a better idea of what's ahead. The reality of it is that all of our plotting and planning for the future is only a rough sketch and we've come to terms with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, on your opinion what do you think cause your child's sickness? Were you on any meds while pregnant? Is there a family history of this sickness?

No, and the only meds I took were pernatal vitamins and a few tylenol.

For years I grappled with what I had done to cause this. Was it the handful I tylenol I had taken during my entire pregnancy, pesticides from neighboring farms, or was there something more going on with a great great grandparent who ended up a homeless drunk after being widowed. I've determined that sometimes, despite our best efforts, things like this can and do happen and the only thing you can do is move forward because that's the healthy way to deal with having a disabled child.

Generous response to a rude, insensitive, and stupid question. Well played OP.

OP, I have just read this for the first time.

I am sure you are very doctored out. But it may be worth your while to consider seeing Dr. Beth Latimer, a neurologist in the District. She has done a lot of work with children with PANDAS, an autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorder. And she has worked with children with similar disorders. She has numerous patients who are doctors' children.

I am just reading this thread, and I would like an update as well. My own son has ADHD and PDD-NOS, but used to be aggressive and very moody. We endured some of the same ordeals, from preschool on up. He is a lot better now but still gets moody, and he doesn't have much of a "filter." I'm glad you were making progress, and best of luck to you and your child and your family.

I've determined that sometimes, despite our best efforts, things like this can and do happen and the only thing you can do is move forward because that's the healthy way to deal with having a disabled child.

Amen to that.

Since this thread was resurrected, how about an update, OP? How are you and your family doing?

Anonymous wrote:OP, on your opinion what do you think cause your child's sickness? Were you on any meds while pregnant? Is there a family history of this sickness?

No, and the only meds I took were pernatal vitamins and a few tylenol.

For years I grappled with what I had done to cause this. Was it the handful I tylenol I had taken during my entire pregnancy, pesticides from neighboring farms, or was there something more going on with a great great grandparent who ended up a homeless drunk after being widowed. I've determined that sometimes, despite our best efforts, things like this can and do happen and the only thing you can do is move forward because that's the healthy way to deal with having a disabled child.

Anonymous wrote:OP, on your opinion what do you think cause your child's sickness? Were you on any meds while pregnant? Is there a family history of this sickness?

OP, on your opinion what do you think cause your child's sickness? Were you on any meds while pregnant? Is there a family history of this sickness?

I'm just so glad that I'm able to give a good update.