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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Are you listening to what she says when you ask her about it, and empathizing with and respecting her feelings and thoughts that she communicates to you? Or are you dismissing any answer that isn't in agreement with your opinion on the matter? From this post, it sounds like you ask about her going back to paid work, she gives an answer that isn't the one you wanted to hear, you "press the issue" (i.e. keep asking the same question), and she cries because you are hounding her about the same thing over and over and not even listening to or caring about her answer. [/quote]

We had this dynamic until I realized it was my own frustration driving things and not really my concern about our family. I stopped asking this way and stopped expecting a different answer and really began asking what about our long term future? I began listening and really there isn't much given to me beyond this is what I want (no explanation about what changed, no long term thoughts, nothing beyond this is where I am now and this is what I can handle. There's nothing I can do with that beyond try to accept it, so I have stepped away and started counseling. Right now, we have no long terms plans that would encompass her returning to work because she won't even engage in this sort of discussion. I am left holding the bag and coming up with a plan alone and I find it resentful because this isn't what I signed up for. But I'm here and trying to make the best of it.[/quote]

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