Reply to Completely Lost It on my Teen DD

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Completely Lost It on my Teen DD"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I think the posting above is worth noting, but not worrying about.  They all have boyfriends whether you are aware of them or not - their grades go down at her age because they are drinking and getting high with their friends, and you only know the friends they let you know, and that is usually an edited version.

What you can do, is be aware.  Have a real talk with her - not the parent/child talk, but the "just don't do stupid stuff" talk.  Remind her that while it would be nice to get along, her job is school and being the best she can be.  Explain what stupid stuff is.  Unprotected sex, drugs during school, drinking with people you don't know.  And make sure she knows that, in the end, you are unshockable and that she can trust you.  And, tell her that you trust her to be SMART, not always good, but SMART.[/quote]

Disagree. Kids need hard limits to test. They don't need soft limits because then they'll push the boundaries even further. You're sending your kid the message that it's OK with you if he does weed every day after school, so long as it's on the way home from school or at a friend's house instead of at school. Guess what boundaries your kid is going to test next....

Also, basically you're telling your kid that it's OK to break laws re pot and alcohol. Whatever happens to these laws over the next few years, you can be sure we're not going to see laws that allow teens under age 21 to do pot or alcohol. Kids have terrific hypocrisy antennae, and they'll laugh at you.

Seriously, your kid is laughing at you for trying to be a cool friend instead of a parent. He's probably going to do pot and alcohol regardless, but he doesn't need or want your permission.

So be a parent. Set expectations that are consistent with state laws instead of making you look like a hypocrite or a wannabe friend to your kids. Let them know in advance what the consequences will be, no driving for a month or whatever you decide. Do have the talks about consensual sex and drinking with strangers. Be available. And when you do find the pipe--and you probably will--do everything you said you would do, calmly, without yelling, but predictably.

Your kids will respect you for it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics