Reply to Desperately lonely with my excellent house-husband

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Desperately lonely with my excellent house-husband"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Hmmm this is tough.  I think you may want to consider individual therapy to help you work out your feelings and responses if DH is not willing to do joint counseling.  While you can't control his actions, you can control your responses and figure out how you want to set boundaries.  I tend to need a lot of solitary time and when I am stressed out from work it is worse and to top it off I probably have ADD.  Howver in my case my DH tends to be the doer.  I guess we both had to work with each other for me to set aside time in the evenings for him and for him to not always be on the go and take the kids with him sometimes suring the day.

Some of the things that help.  When we see articles about successful marriages or hear WTOP stories we discuss it with each other/forward the article.  These tend to be general discussions and if there is something applicable to us we may talk thru it but not in a way that is accusatory but more of a look in the mirror and what are your own perceptions of your actions and how it impacts your partner. I changed my actions to go to bed the same time as DH a few times a week because I realized the different bedtimes makes intimacy difficult. Dh also moved his bedtime a little later so we  had some time after the kids went to bed. I also had to figure out how I could fit in my unwind down time before bed and maybe get up earlier after he has gone to work/before kids are up for me time.  If your DH can't come to conclusions on his own, directly ask what it would take to have one hour maybe 3 times a week with no podcasts in the evening when you watch a show together and talk about the day. If there is a task like cleaning that can be outsourced, see if he would agree to that. Or see if there can be a shift in schedule, like more meal prep/make ahead meals on Sunday or if you can take on making crock pot meals and reheat leftovers and he agrees that frees him up Monday nights.  He should definitely be part of coming up with solutions but you should have some options for him to consider.  If this is a case of his mind running and excess energy, would an outlet like working out for an hour help, or look at medication, or consider a natural sleep aid like Melatonin?  Also make sure he has regular time with the baby when you have time to do errands, see friends, and time to yourself.  It may be difficult to do things all together as a family but there should be regular time for him and the baby, you and the baby, and you and DH.

Good luck.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics