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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you do both sound like good people. You feel bad and she feels bad. You are both lost and need a counselor to help you see if you can find your way back to each other before you give up. Even if you have given up. What have you got to lose? Your kids have a lot to lose, and your wife may end up heartbroken, because she didn't even realize how bad it was for you.

I've been through rough and rougher patches, and a lot of it has to do with how having kids affects people, especially women. Like most of us, you were not prepared for this phase of your life to be so tough. Your wife sounds like she really doesn't get it. She's still in "young kids" mode, and you want more focus again on sex and being a couple. Her drive may have taken a hit, so she's not feeling the urges and immediacy you are. She does not understand your side of it. The ways you've tried to show her haven't worked.

In addition to counseling for you together, to see where things stand and to make it very clear to her that things need to change, she should get a few physical things sorted out, as many things lower a woman's sex drive.

Just so you know, this comes from a woman who normally has a high sex drive, so I get the urgency and exasperation you feel. I've also had strange and frustrating phases where my sex drive lowered to near nothing after one of my pregnancies. I've been on both sides of the bed. [/quote]

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