Reply to Husband e-mails Wife spreadsheet of Wife's excuses not to have sex

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband e-mails Wife spreadsheet of Wife's excuses not to have sex"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My take on the spreadsheet is it was a last ditch attempt at making her realize it's an issue. He probably brought it up before only to be brushed off or to have her minimize and claim they had sex all the time. No doubt it's a jerk move but it was probably his last option. Damn, he's 26 and in a near sexless marriage! He's probably so close to done the ramifications of this thing don't concern him in the least.

I will say, this story made me initiate sex with my husband last night. We have sex a lot more often than 3x every 7 weeks but there's still times I just don't feel like it for whatever reason and don't initiate or call off. My husband can thank this dude for giving me a kick in the pants. [/quote]

It was absolutely NOT his last option. Here are some other options:

1. Tell her that he needs them to go to marriage counseling to talk about this issue
2. Tell her that because of this issue, he wants to separate
3. Sit down with her the night before, when he was logging her refusal into the sheet, and say "I have been keeping track of when you say no to me and I want to talk to you about this right now, before you leave, and while you're gone, I want us both to think about how to move forward in our marriage"

I was a wife who denied sex. There were a lot of reasons for my denials. Some of them are on the list. There were months when we only had sex once or twice. My then-husband availed himself of options 1 and 3 on this list, and the unspoken thing in the air was option 2, even though we had a child. We ultimately did divorce, because my non-attraction to him was a symptom of many much larger problems. I don't have a great explanation for why or how I stopped being attracted to him. It wasn't that his looks changed. I had some body image issues and physical issues post-pregnancy, but even those were the defining factor. We went to counseling and talked about these things and I really never had answers for WHY. Sometimes I think people just stop being compatible sexually or stop putting the same emphasis on that aspect of a relationship. In those cases, if the "magic" can't be rekindled, I honestly really believe that it's often better to divorce. It's a huge difference in priorities and the continued imbalance is just going to make both parties miserable.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics