Reply to What's the best quality in a husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I'm single and dating and trying to figure it all out. I am torn between kindness, generosity and integrity but, damn, if the sex is bad can you stand to stay married?[/quote]

OP, just because a guy is kind and generous and a great person doesn't mean he's a right spouse for you.  (I'm the PP who mentioned it's a package deal.)

While sexual chemistry isn't enough alone to sustain a relationship long term, I do think it's still important.  If there isn't a mutual attraction or chemistry, then it's better to move on.  Remain friends.  But if in the BEGINNING of a relationship, you are already not satisfied romantically/sexually, then that's kind of a recipe for problems.  I'm not saying you will cheat, but even if the guy is super nice and kind, you'll come to resent him over time because you'll feel like you settled.

A guy, a potential husband, is a person, a complicated whole.  Finding someone who you want to build a life with isn't about checking off some character traits.  It's about the person as a whole and the synergy or chemistry between you and that person.  There are plenty of wonderful guys with wonderful qualities who wouldn't necessarily make for a good husband for you.  Sure, a marriage is a friendship, but the thing that makes it not JUST a friendship is the chemistry, the attraction.

If there is an attraction, but the guy just doesn't seem to be in the know about sex or about things you like, then that's a different thing.  Be honest with him.[/quote]

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