Reply to Dear Obnoxious Stepdaughters...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][foryfor kite=Antheir mous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. Spouses should ALWAYS come first. Always.[/quote]

Spouses should come first in intact families. Parents should not disregard already-born children for their flavor of the week.[/quote]

+1. Let the angry second wives come out in full force, but the ethics here simply are not the same if both spouses aren't also joint parents of all the kids. [/quote]

If the people involved truly believed in putting children above all else, they would have chosen their child's other parent more carefully and stayed married. The very fact that a stepparent is in the picture is evidence that at least one of those parents already put themselves ahead of the children. Being married to an "angry second wife" in itself is evidence that that parent does not put the child first because a man who wants to put his children first will not marry a woman who does not. Angry ex-wives don't want to admit that they picked a crappy parent for their child. He chose her but you chose him. [/quote]

My parents are divorced and that was really better for me.  They were more verbally abusive while they were married.  Divorce is not always worse then staying married.  I'm one of the people who posted kids should come first ala Sophie's choice ( which was basically a life and death decision for those unfamiliar with the plot).  By putting my kids first, I,don't mean coddling them but making sure that energies are spent to help them develop good character and provide them with a loving environment.  I don't understand parents like my own who were so self involved that their luxuries came above my college tuition etc.  Good parents sacrifice their own needs for their kids needs.  Crappy parents justify their crappy selfish behaviors with statements like I'm trying to teach responsibility when they are just too selfish to see beyond their own needs.  I'm not just talking the talk either.  Ive saved 200k for their college and I strive everyday to do what I can to raise caring and compassionate human beings.[/quote]

You sound like a great mom despite the challenges you face. I agree with you wholeheartedly. And I am willing to bet money that it will be a cold day in hell before you ever find yourself married to a man who did not share your level of devotion to your children. [/quote]

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