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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. Spouses should ALWAYS come first. Always.[/quote]

I might be wrong, but I suspect you're a man.

It's generally to men's long-term benefit for spouses to come first, because men are likely to be taken care of by their wives in their later years.

It's not so much in women's interest -- men generally (though of course not always) predecease their wives, and their widows are more likely to depend on their adult children in their later years.

My grandmother was a widow for 20 years. For 15 of those, she was vigorous and independent, but for the last five, it was my mom who spent a couple hours with her at  her nursing home *every single evening* (after working a full-time job during the day). My grandfather, though he was a fine man, certainly wasn't able to do that from the grave.[/quote]
Yes. Absolutely. My parents are still married, at 74 and 84.  I never had any doubts that my 74-year old Mom put my sister and I first.  Do you know who is taking care of her financially and emotionally while she spends her time taking care of my 84-year old frail, cranky, volatile Dad, whose memory and mind are slowly going? It is absolutely to his benefit that she "puts him first".  Hers? Not so much. She'd rather be with her daughters and grandkids. [/quote]

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