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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks to all the folks that left thoughtful replies. I did learn some valuable insights. First, there is a subset of Mom's that believe that they should sacrifice so that their children come first. I don't want to come off as an uncaring father, but I was raised, and believe in the value of the children being part of the family, and that their needs should be relegated to the greater needs of the family. I find that is not the case today. It is helpful to read in DCUM that my wife's view is shared by other DWs on DCUM.

I suspect that a large portion of my wife's anger stems from her wanting to provide for the children and that my taking on risk to grow a business is viewed as selfish. That I should not chase my dreams so that I can provide for the family; perhaps I am selfish. And not to be a romantic I am not providing a better example of believing in myself and working hard on my own endeavors, rather than being the company man waiting to get shot at 55 - what the heck type example is that ? So, I think part of the  issue is the difference between male and female optics.  Well truth be told, we cannot guarantee that our children will live stress free lives - there will be the ups and downs that are part of life. So, my view is to teach them fortitude, and I suspect my wife would like to be able to provide a very fortunate upbringing.

I think when women go through menopause they change; since they were little girls playing with dolls all they wanted was babies. I believe during and after menopause that changes; natures way of telling them that they can no longer bear children. I think this affects their view, and bluntly, their need for men. I am actually starting to wonder if the typical male mid life crisis is not precipitated by his spouse's menopause. The DW can howl, but I know from experience my wife was never as sexual as she was in her mid forties. I believe that was mother nature at play - pushing the species to procreate. After menopause no sexual desire. So, what does the DH do ? So, when you do not have sex for years, is it so strange that the DH starts looking, and in some cases, chasing younger women ? Or trying to recreate the opportunities of his youth as he comes home to a sexless, logistics based marriage ? Can you really blame him ?

When I was younger I didn't marry for passion because I feared that would ebb; I married for respect, shared values, and someone that I thought would be a good mother. The girl the family approved of; I think the mistake was that perhaps I should not have been so logical. An intense love may have helped weather the storm. A marriage shouldn't simply be a business deal. Starting to think to alot of DWs it is...snag me a rich guy so I can live in a beautiful house and baby my babies. Not all women, but I'd say a bulk of the women driving the black SUVs in the affluent towns across the country. And that's why they work so hard to look good in the yoga pants - not that he is going to get any.

Thanks again for all the replies.[/quote]

You are quite the throwback.  My DH married ME for my earning potential. I totally agree as someone who is risk averse that your wife may be very stressed with your business.[/quote]

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