Reply to DD experienced racism in the classroom. How to handle.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

[/quote]Calm down.  Your experiences may not mirror OP's daughter's experiences.  One size does not fit all in how things occur and how they're handled.

I'm sure OP understands that calling or emailing the school is not a good idea.[/quote]

If you're talking about being in a classroom where an insensitive comment is made about blacks, then our experiences do mirror one another's. Though frankly, they don't have to. The bottom line is that DD needs to learn sooner rather than later to grow a thicker skin--especially as a black person. And that simply will not happen as long as Mommy's knee-jerk reaction is to contact a dean over a single comment made in class.

[/quote]

OP here. I think you are being a bit harsh. While my initial reaction was to contact the school, I didn't. I posted here for advice to gain some perspective on the situation. I realize that my DD is grown and this is something she will have to handle on her own. Other than arming her with advice and facts surrounding black male incarceration, I have made it clear to her that this is something that she will need to address because, even outside of the South, she may have to deal with similar issues again.

And it's great that you were able to shrug off racist comments. Good for you. My DD has grown up and lived in the DC area her entire life and has gone to predominately black schools. She has never faced something like what she's experiencing in her first year away from home. What's old hat to you is new to her. I'm proud of her for the steps she's taken in addressing this issue and I think this year away from home has been a great learning experience for her. [/quote]Glad you came back, OP.  Sometimes people draw conclusions and surmise between the lines if you don't write a dissertation.  I figured you were just blowing off steam and know that not all black experiences are the same.  She is a young adult with more experiences, positive and negative, to come.  Sounds like you're on the case.  Good for you and DC.[/quote]

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