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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.  I think it comes  down to the dynamics in DW's family growing up. Either she is copying her mother's behavior and thought it worked well or she was very disappointed, maybe dad was king of the castle and mom was subservient and DW vowed never to do that.  The root of issues usually go back to childhood in some fashion.  First step is recognizing the behavior, next step is being willing to change the behavior.

We are obviously hearing one side of the story and you mentioned DW is risk averse.  Were you a team when you decided to start your own business or was this a solo decision?  Were you part of raising the kids or was this always the wife's domain?  I'll be honest that I am not a stay at home spouse.  But if you make one person's 100% responsible for the domestic front and then ask him/her to change assignments late in the game and take on additional responsibility, I can see how they feel resentful.  There is a difference between everyone feeling like they have an assignment versus everyone working together on a team.  Part of the difference is communication, checking in with each other, asking the other person's opinion.  Part of it is showing appreciation for what the other person does.  Everyone wants to feel appreciated.  In fact,one of the top reasons people say they split up is because they don't feel appreciated by the partner.  The answer for you and DW is somewhere in understanding how the past has influenced both of you and figuring out why you no longer appreciate each other.  You need to have an honest conversation about either getting things back on track or making an exit plan because what you are both doing isn't working.
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