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[quote=Anonymous]I'm in the same exact financial situation as OP, percentage-wise, and it's really really hard to just "accept and move on" when you slide backwards -- hard.

I know I need to do just that, accept, in order to be mentally healthy and not be bitter for the rest of my life (I'm 47 so things aren't going to really shoot back 'up' for me in the time I have left).   I am beyond grateful that for the time being, I have my good health and so does DS.  I try to focus on that.

As someone who grew up happy and lower middle class, never ever knowing the "finer" things in life until her late 20s, I will say this:

I found that it was much, MUCH easier to just never know about the things that come along with a high professional income in the first place, than to have enjoyed those things and have them yanked away from you abruptly.  I'm serious.

What's more, as an educated and supposedly enlightened woman who is surrounded by educated and enlightened peers, you can never, ever breathe word of these feelings of loss to your enlightened friends.  One, because they will call you shallow for mourning the loss of "stuff."  Two, because in many or all cases, they themselves are likely still living the good life themselves and can't relate (although they may mouth empathetic words if they are indeed good and loyal friends.  Then they go to their personal trainer).

So I quickly learned to internalize these feelings of loss, shame and envy.  They're ugly, no one wants to hear them, they reflect badly on me ... but they're real.[/quote]

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