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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "having a hard time accepting DS for who he is"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an adoptive parent and often hear other adoptive parents lament that they really wanted a biological child to "be like them", "look like them", "have a reflection of themselves" and I believe that's true for the majority of people. it doesn't end with just looks either. [b]People want all their best qualities to be reflected in their child and reasonably expect that to happen[/b] - including intellect. So I really do understand what the OP is saying. [/quote] This can easily cross the line into parental narcissism. A parent wanting to "have a reflection of myself" (in whatever way) is looking to the kid for mirroring and validation. That's not what children are for. We all struggle with this. I have to continually remind myself to see my child for who she is, not what I want her to be or what I want her to reflect back at me. She's not an extension of me. [/quote] +100[/quote]
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