Reply to having a hard time accepting DS for who he is

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[quote=Anonymous]Please, you have a preschooler and a fetus. You may just want to sit back and take advice right now instead of giving it. You are well on your way to being the OP and you may want to start with the book recommended now instead of waiting.

:roll:

Life will happen all over you soon enough.

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I just want to say that I get what you are saying.  [b]I also think that the posters here being cruel to you have almost certainly not walked a mile (or even a foot) in your shoes.[/b]I commend you for being honest.  I also want to say that genes are weird.  My husband and I are both university professors at a top school (not in DC) and we know many professor couples with kids.  Many of these professors are world famous, up for the nobel prize, graduated top of their class at MIT, Harvard, etc.

Some of these professors have really bright kids.  But a surprising number do not.  They go to average schools, take non academic jobs.  One I can think of , of two of the most successful people out there, skipped college and went into the military.

You could say it's because these people were too busy to parent their children.  Occasionally that might be a contributing factor.  But honestly, genes are weird.    What I am trying to say OP is that you are not alone.

When we had our first child, I tried to think that my goal was to have a child that was comfortable in his own skin and a good person.  But even so, when I first saw my son, he had a certain look in his eye, and I confess a tiny part of me was relieved -- I realized he was "one of us." -- ie intellectual.  Not sure how I knew, but I did.  And to the extent I can tell -- he is still a preschooler, I am right.  Loves books, math, very focused, etc.  Things may still go differently, but right now they do not.

I think it is only natural not necessarily to have a narrow view of success for your child, but to want a child you can relate to and parent naturally.  So I understand the difficulty in having that not be the case.  And I don't fault you, at all.

I hope that by being honest here (and thinking about this issue) you can think about how to relate to your son as you said.  Maybe you can find an activity you enjoy together. If you can phrase it in this way, and hope that your son will be the best that he can offer to this world, you will be a fabulous, and I'd like to think proud parent.

We are set to have another child and I am gearing up for this all over again.  OP, I hope I can be honest as you are and use that to be a good parent.  My best to you.
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