Reply to having a hard time accepting DS for who he is

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the helpful replies and I agree I probably need to talk to a therapist to work through this. My child is not 7 - he is almost 12 - but still very young in the big scheme of life. And while I realize he could be very different some day, I do think you can tell a lot already. I have always been very sharp and driven and I've always been drawn to that same type with regard to my spouse and friends. So it is hard for me to connect with my child or admire him. But I really really do love him and I want to be a better parent to him. This has been the most shameful post I've ever typed. [/quote]

Ouch.  Please admire him.  Admire him in all his differences.

I think a part of you has your self-worth tied up in his successes.  Too many people in this area are living vicariously through their kids. They push them incessantly.  They miss 'the kid' in front of them.  You see these parents on the sidelines or hear them in the school parking lot.  Their kids can hear them to, trust me.  They know they can't measure up to their parents' expectations.  Their self-worth comes about pleasing the parents.

You need to realize this kid is not you or your husband.  He is not meant to follow your script.  He is a young kid.  God---imagine if we gave up on everyone at 12.

Too many type-A parents see having kids as just another 'project' in life.  I see the SAHM that gave up very lucrative careers that now have their 'kids' as careers.  Their whole entier self-identity and self-worth is through their kid's achievements.  They can't separate from their children.  IT is so toxic.  [/quote]

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