Reply to Husband Turned Catholic on Me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I totally feel for you, OP.  I'm married to a Catholic  - family is South American and he attended 12 years of Catholic school including all boy HS.  I initially agreed to be married in the Catholic church.  DH wanted the priest for whom he'd been an altar boy to marry us.  We started taking the classes and, honestly, neither of us could continue.  We couldn't agree to have a "Catholic" marriage and were, therefore, married by a clergywoman of a different faith.

My DH sounds a lot like yours.  I think the Catholic Church has done great things for the impoverished and for social justice for some groups.  A PP wrote that most Catholics don't agree with the more conservative aspects of Catholic church and just ignore what they don't like.  That's not acceptable to the church.  I did learn a lot about the Catholic Church and I know that the church would not consider those peoples to be Catholics in good standing and that they should not take communion - (and it says so on every program.  DH still considers himself Catholic but he was not allowed to take communion at his mother's funeral.  We tried a number of other churches but DH missed the rituals of the Catholic Church.  It felt comforting and familiar to him.  I get that.  But, I'm not willing to teach our kids one thing and the church tell them something else.

It wouldn't bother me so much if my DH returned to church but it would bother me greatly if he made a unilateral decision to go to the 11AM mass on Sundays.  I agree with a PP who suggested talking to him about what need is fulfilled by the church and how both of your needs could be met.  If it were me, I could total seeing this sending us back to relationship counseling.  I just can't see supporting an organization that is so diametrically opposed to and working against some issues that I feel so strongly about.  There must be a different way to meet his needs.  Hugs [/quote]

You've been to every single Catholic church in the world and viewed their program?  Wow.  Funny, but mine doesn't say that.  There's no litmus test before communion.  My priest knows my feelings on many issues and has never told me I'm a Catholic in poor standing.  Is the church perfect?  No.  Bur as both I and a PP have noted, OP, and several of her supporters, are as closed minded, bigoted and oppressive as any religious person I have ever met.[/quote]

Your church may be more open but the church my DH grew up in - St. Louis Catholic Church in Alexandria - is not.  Nor, with the exception of Good Shepherd, have we been to a Catholic Church near us that did not include that little program note asking people not to take communion if they were not in good standing.  Could there be others that don't have that?  Sure but the fact that the Church allows any of them to put that in the program shows that stance does not contradict Catholic Church doctrine - the Church supports that position.   You may be willing to overlook or ignore the tenents of the Catholic faith that you don't like but you can't call people who disagree, or who find certain stances of the Catholic Church abhorrent, to be close minded/bigoted/oppressive.  Actually, it's ironic that you'd consider us that since one of the reasons I couldn't be Catholic is that I believe there are many paths to heaven (not just through Jesus) and I believe in gay marriage.  That's pretty much the opposite of close minded and bigoted.  Of course, those may not be big issues for you.  But, they are for a number of people, including OP.  That you can't understand why those issues alone, not to mention birth control and the role of women in the church, would be deal breakers really shows how narrow minded you and those like you are.  There's a reason the Catholic Church is dying in America.  Growing numbers of Americans can no longer in good conscience follow its teachings.[/quote]

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