Reply to When you got married, how much did you really think about marrying into your spouse's family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Didn't think about that at all.  Thought DH was so different than them, and it didn't matter that they were crazy, cold, terrible with finances, narcissistic, completely different values than me.  Big mistake.  You are very influenced by your family growing up, like it or not.  And now that I have kids, I have to think about their interactions with and influences on my kids, and on the other hand what distancing us from them means to my kids.  I don't care about me, but my kids deserve loving, caring grandparents and I feel like I really should have thought about this more.[/quote]

I could have written this but at almost 40 XDH redefined his family of origin as warm, loving and caring, had an affair with someone just like his family and walked out on us. Then he launched custody fight from he'll, 50-50 wasn't enough for him even though gf Doesn't like the kids. It's so weird, this is someone who wanted the kids in Waldorf school, no tv and wooden toys, now it's all Barbies and tweeny shows for early elementary kids. Not sure if he changed or was pretending to be someone else or what. His whole life years after leaving seems to be about me sucking and his family being great. This was after a decade or so of little contact on his part. He moved out a few years ago but is almost obsessed with cutting me out, replacing all of the kids' stuff so they don't have clothes that go back and forth, etc. He seems to resent them and it's tv or be ing yelled at they say, just like his childhood. Anyone ever heard of anything like this? I really want to just move on but he is constantly undermining the kids and I don't have funds to keep going to court when it accomplishes nothing. I thought that he was different than them but in the end he is worse and still chasing after their approval.    [/quote]

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