Reply to Husband plans going to a strip club but telling me he isn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- 8 months or 1-2 months postpartum, I know!  I think that makes me pretty cool that [b]he gets to go away for the weekend and me not give him a hard time about it.[/b]  No, I haven't freaked out about it YET. Our conversations about it have been civil and calm and I thought we were on the same page.   But I will freak out if he goes and lies to me about it.  Especially after I told him I understand and told him he doesn't have to lie and I'd rather just know and that it would make it worse if he went and lied about it.  Yes, I know they are my insecurities but HE HAS THE SAME ONES WHEN IT COMES TO  ME.  It's a mutual thing.  And knowing that it bothers me he said would not participate in that part of it even though I did not completely forbid it and he said he doesn't like those places anyway.  I know he wouldn't just go on his own.  I don't think I am being irrational and apparently there are many women who agree with me.  I admitted that it would not be the end of the world if he went although it would still bother me but the lying about it is what is making it worse.[/quote]

What?  It makes you "Cool" because he "gets" to go away and you won't give him a hard time about it?

Jeeze louise!

That doesn't make you cool, that makes you unbearable.

Why in the world does your husband NEED your permission to do anything?

Certainly you two should work out scheduling conflicts and making sure shared goals and tasks are accomplished - but for cryin' out loud, if you want to be with a MAN you need to treat him like a MAN.

[/quote]

PP, you are having a difficult time understanding this-because you are a man. He has all the freedom in the world, in her eyes. She may feel stuck. 
Stuck at the house, cleaning.
Stuck with a toddler, and their toddler ways.
Stuck with a newborn, limited sleep.
And now stuck with a stubborn DH, that isn't sympathetic to her wishes.

Why can't he say that he understands how she feels, but that she has to trust him, he will check in with her afterward? I think the "he gets to go away and play" is the part most bothersome +lying. She sees him as out partying it up and having his bachelor fun while she's at home with a kid on her knee and one on the tit. Seriously, you can't see how one might be pissed about being left to do all the household/parenting duties while out "with the boys?" I presume if she took a "girl's night out or weekend with the girls at a casino things might go differently. Then, men would be discussing what a horrible mom for leaving her family and husband. What will he eat while she's gone?! Gasp!  :shock:[/quote]

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