Reply to What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an uncle who sounds a lot like your "fiancé", OP.  He is not a good guy.  He is REALLY good at pretending he loves and cares about a woman, and REALLY good at manipulating her into essentially supporting him, and REALLY good at claiming that all problems or sources of discord are the fault of the woman, not him.

Examples:
If you want me to pay my fair share, you only want me for my money.

If you want me to perform an equal amount of work to maintain our shared home, you're using me to make your life easier.

If you want me to be clear about and commit to my plans regarding our relationship, you're forcing me and only care about your own needs.

Sound familiar?  He takes all of his own character failures and pretends that the woman is the real issue.  She's not.  It's him.  I've seen this play out time and time again with his different "long term girlfriends" over the years.  Same story, different woman, same result at the end - she ends up screwed over and screwed up, and he walks away unscathed (often financially enriched) and moves on to the next woman.

OP, have enough respect for yourself to recognize that he is not treating you like a true partner.  Your children deserve better than this.  You deserve better than this.  Find yourself a path out of this relationship as soon as possible.  Give yourself the space to find a TRUE partner.[/quote]

Sadly, I think I dated your uncle, or at least someone like him... I am begging you OP to really think about what all these posters have said to you, so rarely is there such a consensus on DCUM.

I have been in a similar relationship and I know how it feels scary to think about ending (it is called co-dependency, and you have been living with less for far too long you don't even realize) This man has stated that your children are not his... how can you marry a man who doesn't see you as his family? you may except less for yourself but what about your children? If your children are just financial burdens to him, then what happens when you marry, and god forbid something happen to you? Do you think he will care for them all of a sudden? How could you put them at risk for this man? I am not trying to bully you, because I think this man has already done enough work on you... you need to step outside and see it for what it is, be brave OP and I promise you won't regret it... Sometimes the hardest thing you have to do, is the thing you have to do most

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