Reply to Steubenville Rape Case: What You Haven't Heard-What lessons do you take from this re:your own boys?

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Reply to "Steubenville Rape Case: What You Haven't Heard-What lessons do you take from this re:your own boys?"

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[quote=Anonymous]The Steubenville thing is horrifying, and I am outraged that the boys were not punished more severely. It also makes me really angry when people blame the victim, as in, sure he was a rapist but she should not have been drinking/wearing a short skirt/coming on to strange men.

However, I have to admit that I am intensely uncomfortable with situations like the one described in "Ask Amy" (*), or every situation where a girl is drunk, being labeled as rape.

As a woman, I can recall several occasions where I started out saying no, but eventually allowed myself to be seduced, and enjoyed it too. I can also recall times where I was the sexual "aggressor", such as with the good Christian boys I dated in college, who were raised to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, and will almost certainly lead to pregnancy or disease. In my adult relationships as well, I would not be surprised if there were more than a few instances when a man did not want to have sex as much as I did but was afraid that I would get my feelings hurt or think him "unmanly" if he said no. Does this make me a rapist?

The drinking I don't have much personal experience with. Certainly being sober the first time you have sex with someone sounds like good advice. And not having sex with anyone who is so drunk they can't stand should be a no-brainer. But when two drunk people fall into bed together, while its not unlikely at least one of them will regret it in the morning, is it rape? And if so, is it always the man who was the rapist?

(*) http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ask-...2-8f84-3e4b513b1a13_story.html[/quote]

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