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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks…."
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[quote=Anonymous]I actually don't think some light spanking in toddler/preschool years is abusive in the context of a loving supportive healthy relationship. I recognize the research shows that other options are better and more successful but I think that that type of spanking can exist in that "not best practice but not abusive" zone. With that context so you understand that this is not just a knee jerk no out of principle, I think "we've tried other things and now we have an elementary schooler who is still misbehaving and we want to try spanking" is a really bad way to spank. At that age they are old enough that they won't care about the shock value of a light smack so you're going to have to actually cause pain but they are also not old enough to be humiliated by the concept of being spanked like a middle schooler would. (TBC I don't think you should spank middle schoolers, I'm just saying he's not old enough for even the threat to be humiliating.) You also have a pattern of disrespect so he's going to be more inclined to do the "haha that didn't hurt" thing which is going to make you want to hit harder. I think the chances that you will be able to effect any actual behavior change without escalating into abuse is low. Have you tried PCIT? It's very systematic and you get live coaching in the moment. [/quote]
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