Reply to Do some parents just have bad luck in the kid department?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"My kid is inherently bad" is just cope. Even Hitler wouldn't have been Hitler with better parents. Donald Trump probably wouldn't be this absolutely nightmare if his parents had actually loved him instead of shipping him off to military school or whatever.

No one is a perfect parent but 99.99999999999% of kids I've met will be okay if they get enough of the right kind of love and support. Every total nightmare of a kid I've encountered has had one or both parents who are in some way abusive or neglectful. Sometimes in a way they are unaware of. Like I know a girl who is very rageful and angry and her parents are like "yup, that's just how she is" but then they will turn around and tell her, to her face, that her siblings are just better people than she is. Ummmm. That's crap parenting, no wonder that kid is miserable. But the parents can't even see it because they are frustrated and have written her off and only see their own experience dealing with a tough kid and can't step outside themselves and see what it must be like to be a child whose parents just do not like her. That family could benefit enormously from individual and group counseling but what are you going to say? It all sucks but that kid isn't just broken. She's a person who doesn't feel loved or accepted by her family and is acting out in a somewhat predictable way. It probably feels a lot more obvious from outside that dysfunction.

But yeah, this idea that this many [b]people just have inherently sociopathic children who can't be reached? No, [/b]it's cope. I'm sure that's hard to hear, but it's cope. Find a good family therapist.[/quote]

Oh lordy, another science denier. [/quote]

Not a science denier. There may be a teeny tiny portion of the population that is born a psychopath based purely on innate qualities with no option for parenting them into a functional person.

But no one in this thread is talking about that. They are talking about angry, difficult, hard-to-parent kids. That's it. These are not psychopaths. They are tough kids and the parents get frustrated and come to dislike their kids, and their kids can tell their parents hate them, and it spirals. That's not a psychopath.

Go to a family therapist and figure out how to deal with your own feelings regarding your children, and learn how to properly parent tough kids. It's your job. If your kid didn't start killing neighborhood bets at age 5, you're dealing with a run of the mill tough kid (very likely has special needs or anxiety or depression that is not being properly treated) and you need to just step up to the plate and figure it out. Writing them off as a psychopath is just easier for you, but it's not reality. It's cope.[/quote]

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