Reply to Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is why I say no to most invitations- I know I won’t want to go once it’s actually time to go. But DCUMs  complain about that too - “she never accepts my invitations to go out.” You can’t win. [/quote]

Who complains about someone constantly turning them down? Most people stop inviting after 1 or 2 unaccepted invitations. The vast majority can read the writing on the wall.[/quote]
Yeah, I don't complain about that, I just stop inviting you, because I can take the hint that someone doesn't want to be friends.  [/quote]

Maybe. Or maybe they do want to be friends, but their other issues (e.g. social anxiety) take over.
[/quote]
Maybe.  But then it's on them to demonstrate interest in some way.  I'm not going to keep asking someone who always says no.  Why would I?[/quote]

Because you care about them? When my friend was going through an awful divorce she often wouldn’t attend things for various reasons but she said it meant so much that everyone continued to invite her. Just feeling like she hadn’t lost that group of friends while she was losing her husband (he cheated and surprised her with a divorce) really helped.

I’ve blacklisted a couple after six years of continued rudeness in bailing on events. The final straw was a catered sit-down dinner (I had previously only invited them to larger group things so their last-minute absence wasn’t a big thing). They’re no longer on my invite list even for larger events now. I have a lot of sympathy for people going through things but also sometimes people are just rude and once I figure out you are, I’m over it. [/quote]

[b]The vast majority of people aren't going through tough times. [/b]They admit it themselves they just "don't feel like it" the day of. We can all tell the difference between a real excuse and a fake one and a lot of people are offering up fake excuses to get out of a commitment. [/quote]

How old are you?

Of my closest 10 friends right now we have:
- recent death of mother
- recurrence of breast cancer requiring surgery and radiation
- recurrence of colon cancer requiring surgery and chemo
- divorce
- dying parent
- moving
- depression/anxiety ramping up due to work stress

So yeah, most of my friends right now are going through something. But again, if you want to be mad at people instead of being sympathetic or understanding, go ahead. [/quote]

Been through several of those things. I just rsvp no.[/quote]

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